Archive for the sex blogs Category

Really Awful Erotica

Posted in minx, people who should know a damn sight better, sex blogging, sex blogs, you're the best readers a minx could ask for with tags , , , , on February 5, 2009 by evilminx

I post this, with a note thanking my dear friend L, who co-authored this with me and generously allowed me to post this on the Minxdom. A special shout-out also to my friend D, bless his 70’s music loving socks,  for providing the first line.

And now the reasoning behind this post. Recently, I have read some utterly TRAGIC crap in the sex blogosphere. Seriously awful. Yawnworthy in the extreme. Boring as fuck, basically.

Now I know that to each their own, and different strokes for different folks and all that. I mean, come on! There have even been those who would denigrate and rubbish my own erotica, back in the day when I used to publish any on the Minxdom. Yes, Miss Ch, you four-eyed lousy daughter of a camel whore, I do mean you.  However, as we all know, those people suck and are not worthy of shit.

Heh.

But there is a basic standard of sex-writing — and to call some of it erotica is to overstate it by vast proportions — which has sunk so low that it’s almost laughable. Some of the phrases and imagery in the below were pilfered from online genuine sex-writing, purporting to be erotica, but in reality being an online written wankfest for the writer, and the lover to whom they wrote.

And I thought… fuck, I bet I could write worse erotica than that. I wonder how difficult it could be?

Ergo, EvilMinxProductions brings to you, with all due fanfare and happy dances, the Absolute Worst Piece of Erotica Ever Written Ever.

Ever. No kidding. It knocks everything i was talking about above into a cocked hat. Trust me.

***************************

“I’m just a lurve machine”, he told her, swivelling his hips and toying with the velcro fasteners on the sides of his black PVC man-thong. “And I won’t work for nobody but you”.
 
She giggled with glee. PVC always made her bosoms swell. If she pinched hard enough, her cheeks would turn red too, and she knew this would turn him on —  although she never did quite understand why making her face red aroused him so.
 
She ran her tongue over her lips, saucily, and savoured once again the powerful aromatic sensual flavors of the chicken vindaloo they’d just shared. A gentle breeze from behind reminded her of cardamon and the exotic east.
 
She prayed her love machine wouldn’t need his usual kickstart. The stiletto boots made her bunions hurt.
 
“You want a bite of my Big Kahuna burger, while i fuck you doggy-style?” he asked her, as he generously offered her the greasy package in his hand. “Food always makes me feel sexy.” She demurred, but licked her lips copiously anyway, knowing his penchant for cherry-flavored lipgloss. “Hold it for me anyway, babe — I need to get a good grip on those bri-nylon hot pants.”

She held his burger firmly yet gently, with an experienced flair that made him ache and long to empty himself over her. He smothered a burp just in time and tasted the vindaloo all over again, deciding on reflection not to mention the Special Sauce.
 
He pumped his hard and greasy cock into her (having not been able to resist stroking it before handing her the burger). He could feel mountains of lovejuice swelling inside him. He thrust as he spoke, the staccato increasing with his indigestion:

“You. Want. Me. Don’t you? Baby. Oo. Yeah. Give. It. To. Me. Good.”
 
She squealed like a 3-day-old puppy and squeezed him with her bulging vaginal muscles, all the while attempting vainly to suppress the nagging worry of whether there was enough carpet cleaner left in the bottle, and regretting not buying more when she’d had the chance the previous day. After all, it had been on sale, and the  boy who bagged the groceries was quite dishy, in that acned, greasy-haired teenage kind of way. The smell of sex hung around him like that of old crusty socks, overpowering her with its masculinity. 
 
She was reminded of this as she looked down at her lover’s feet, planted on either side of her like ficus, clothed in their trademark  white polyester. How she loved the steaming dampness that arose from them after a good night’s sleep! The aroma gave her an extra frisson of delight as she felt him squelch deep within her.

“Stick it in me, baby!” she yelped orgasmically, drowning out the Star Trek convention taking place downstairs. With extra effort, she suppressed all thought of the Trekkies, only to be recalled much later, when there was a special screening of the Tribbles episode into which she was  planning on sneaking. She saw his toes in their manly white socks flex rhythmically, digging into the nylon carpet. This evidence of his passion and the sight of his hairy muscled calves was almost enough to make her gush all over the carpet — like a waterfall, a summer storm, or the leaky tap in the bath — but she restrained herself, ever mindful of the dearth of cleaning fluid.

He rejoiced at her yelping and pounded her even harder, ignoring the electric shock generated between his big toe and the carpet beneath the hardened piece of gum on which he was standing. He knew she was nearing her peak as soon as she began to shout out the names of the final eleven in England’s 1966 world cup-winning team.

“Nobby! Bobby! Jackie! Gordon!”
 
He  waited to hear “Besty!”, knowing that was his cue.

“Fuck,” she groaned, throwing her head back and smartly rapping it on the wall. The hollow echoey sound it made frightened yet soothed him. “YES!” she screamed, as he prepared to pump happy swimmy sperm into the swirling category-five hurricane of her orgasm.

“OH YES! Besty! Oh, Besty!”

*************************

Eat your heart out, Ms Ch. Bite me.

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Sugasm 141, somewhat belated.

Posted in sex blogging, sex blogs, sugasm on July 27, 2008 by evilminx

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants.

Want in Sugasm #142? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Comedy vs. Tragedy
“Are you on your period? What? Did he just say…”

Ian, or, Sometimes Sex is Hilarious
“In short, it isn’t sex blogger sex.”

A Wish
“I wish that you could know the indescribable pleasure of being enfolded in your warm, gentle wetness.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Road Rage

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sugasm 139

Posted in fucks, sex blogging, sex blogs, sugasm with tags , , , , , on July 8, 2008 by evilminx

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Hope you all enjoyed Permanent Haze — it was a memory that had long awaited documentation…

Want in Sugasm #140? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Flunking A Call
“I fell silent again and tried to think. What did he want?”

Revision
“He seemed… perfect. ”

Shaving, revisted.
“I don’t do it for society, for anyone who will or will not be seeing it. I do it for me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Exploitation, objectification and breaking the law…

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Erotic Writing and Experiences
2nd Blogiversary
Becoming
The Cam Lover pays to fist a 19 year-old Ass
Fiction: Taxicab Confessional
Four: of weeks and wantings
Friend with benefits- properly fucked
Getting to fuck the neighbor 5
Good weekend
Gustav Klimt Nachlass
I love the way you cuddle!
Kung Fu Theater
Monday’s Slut Journal
More bloody married people and doctor/patient roleplay…..
My first visit to Manbar
Night Ride: Trigger’s Bike
Permanent haze
The prize for working
Traction Bound

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Be The Man Other Men Envy, Be PullJoy
Catalina loves Her Latest BILF List
HNT – Venus and Mars
Of Pillow Fights & Panty Showing
The Way To a Man’s Heart – A Play in One Act
What is with all of the Swinging? – Truth or Fiction

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
A Hot Medical Femdom Scene With Mz Berlin, Kayla Paige, and A Dirty Sponge Gag
I Want It! I Want It! I Want It! It’s At Exquisite Restraints Corsets
The Liberator Sex Wedge: Form, Function, Fucktacular. I love it.
New Toy Alert
Not Your Regular Vibe
Sex, Drugs & Baseball
Why inviting bi-girls to brunch is the best
Will You Carry Me Over The Threshold?
Zen And The Art Of Pornographic Madness

Sex & Politics
All Wound Up and No One to Spring On

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Cheerleader is fucked hard donkey style
Happy Fourth of July -HNT
Half-Nekkid on the Road to Hell
InFocus Girls
Pornsaint Madison Young
Property of Lady Evyl
Sandy Summers in red lingerie
Sundaycore
Thank you for the flowers
Tila Tequila Totally Nude

Sex Work
Meet Lew, My CockSucking CumEating StrapOn Slut

BDSM & Fetish
Agony of Ecstasy: the Ruined Orgasm
And marie Moaned
FLOG memories
Get a Load of These Gams!
Impromptu Ravishment Play
Miss Lioness
The Piggiest Pigs at Leather Retreat
Switchy Thoughts on Spiritual Domination
Testing the New Implements


Sugasm 137 — we’ve come a long way, baby

Posted in former slut, i'm back, sex blogging, sex blogs, sugasm, thinky with tags , , , on June 24, 2008 by evilminx

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants.

It’s been a while since i Sugasmed myself, here or elsewhere — and since it used to be a weekly occurrence in the Other Place, I’ve kinda missed it. But i never expected to be Editor’s Choice or anything my first week back. Hearty and very sincere thanks to the Sugasm Editor…

Want in Sugasm #138? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
I can only be what I am.
“It’s strangely refreshing, to really submit and give up that control, and not have to make decisions.”

Over the Edge
“He tells me to hold still, in that soft, controlling voice of his.”

A Story Told Out of Order and Out of Character – Part 4
“You thought you could just come to my room and tease me?”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
A former slut examined

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sugasm 52 (it’s been a while)

Posted in minx, sex blogging, sex blogs, sugasm with tags , on October 30, 2006 by evilminx

The best of the sex blogs this week by the bloggers who blog them. Spotlighting the top 3 posts voted by Sugasmer participants.

And lookit, y’all — they voted for the Minx! Woo-hoo!

Want in Sugasm #52? Sure ya do. Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Waxed (http://edinerotica.blogspot.com)
“After polishing off my testicles and perineum, Sam started on the area above and around my cock.”

Office Inspiration (http://emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
“Your moans are quite loud now – presumably because everyone else has left the building and you don’t care.”

Home cooking, part 2 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)
“A moan escaped her as the smooth richness hit her.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Porn Denial (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
The Taste Tester Sugasm Special! (http://www.maevebeckham.com)
Long time Sugasm readers will remember Maeve’s blog The Taste Tester. Her entries were a regular part of our sexy posts. Now she is releasing her blog in novel form entitled The Taste Tester. To show our congratulations we’ve made her editors’ choice this week. She has graciously put a full chapter of her book in a special post for Sugasm readers. Thank you Maeve and congratulations again!

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Half-Nekkid Sex Blogger (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com)
Sexy Interview – Nikki Benz (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Venus Berlin Show Report – Porn (http://sextoysinsider.com)

NSFW Pics (& two videos)
The Good: Joon Mali and Lily Koh. The Bad: Sexy Suzie. The Ugly:Ex-Wife From Hell (http://virtual-sex-tourist.com)
Half-Nekkid Thursday: Haunted WebMistress (http://www.taratainton.com)
Hanna Hilton (http://www.ddgirlsblog.com)
Happy HNT – Speed cropping video (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)
Kim Harlow Pin Up Artist (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com)
A new kind of post (http://www.internetisforporn.com)
Welcome to “Marital Bliss” by Marital Bliss (http://sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com)

Sex & Politics
“Black” Webcam Chathosts (http://www.model-chat.com)
Getting Laid, Getting Tested, Getting AIDS (http://smutandsteff.com)
Help Fight the War on Porn (http://blog.babeland.com)
In Bush Country Books on Sex Don’t Sell (http://suzanneportnoy.com)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
5 things you don’t know about me (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)
Don’t fuck the pregnant lady! (http://lustylady.blogspot.com)
A New Monogamy (http://www.longrelationships.com)
Strike one (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
Swinger vs. Poly: What IS Polyamory? Part 2 (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)
Tarts in Tartan, Part 1 (http://thelibertinewife.com/blog)
You Are Not Alone If You Are Alone (http://www.teen-porn-site.com)

BDSM and Fetish
Disciplinary (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com)
Distracting myself (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)
In which I dream of Dr Butler’s cunt (http://thediaryofanenglishrose.blogspot.com)
Isabella’s Eyes – Part XI (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)
Make-Up Sex is the Best Sex (http://everythingoze.blogspot.com)
Pink Champagne (http://aliceinawonderbra.blogspot.com)
A Week in July (http://asparkle2.blogspot.com)
Your suggestion is my command (http://bratmaster.blogspot.com)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
24 (http://confessions112.blogspot.com)
Fusionnement (http://www.easilyaroused.co.uk)
I Crave Touch (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)
Just A Few (http://principles-of-lust.blogspot.com)
Licking my pussy (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
New Found Skin (http://engrailed.com)
On The Sidewalk (http://makemycopcome.blogspot.com)
Lori – Part 1 (http://masterenigma.blogspot.com)
Touch me (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
The Wave (http://baring.blogspot.com)