Archive for September, 2008

Omnivorously minxy

Posted in former slut, minx with tags , , , on September 11, 2008 by evilminx

Now then, people. New shit. The Garden of Earthly Delights is written by Dea, whom I just plain adore. She’s one of the best writers i have ever encountered, particularly on the web — and so prolific it’s actually scary.

She posted a foodie meme, which, as she says:

“…originated here as The Omnivore’s Hundred, a subjective list of 100 food items (not all gourmet, but all “iconic” in their way) that Andrew Wheeler, co-author of the British food blog Very Good Taste, thinks every omnivore should try at least once in her or his life.”

I am shamelessly copying her meme, although i find myself embarrassingly inclement when it comes to the varieties of food I haven’t tried yet in my nearly-forty-years on this earth. And if you saw the size of my ass, you’d also have trouble internalizing how little I’ve eaten.

Mind you, it’s definitely one in the eye for my dietician. Heh.

I’m even more embarrassed about how many I’d never heard of — thank heaven that Wikipedia is my friend. And i have to protest the American slant that the list has. Also, in some of the foodstuffs, i have marked as affirmative if there is an equivalent European or cultural or ethnic version that I have at some point consumed.

Anyway, it being a meme, it has rules. Here are the rules:
1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2. Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4. Optional extra: post a comment on Very Good Taste, linking to your results.

1. Venison — yes. *slurp*
2. Nettle tea— yes. feh.
3. Huevos rancheros — no
4. Steak tartare — yes, yum!
5. Crocodile — er. no.
6. Black pudding — no, not yet.
7. Cheese fondue — hell yeah!
8. Carp— Many times. Mostly as gefilte fish, but also as fried fish. Oy, flashback of my mother frying fish, wearing her shower cap. Eeek!
9. Borscht— Yep. With sour cream. Scrummy.
10. Baba ghanoush— Often. I had some this morning, on fresh bread. Deeelish.
11. Calamari — nope — I am not a seafood person.
12. Phở — i had to look this up. No, but i’d love to.
13. PB&J sandwich— Yes. I have a variation which is even better: marmite/vegemite and jam. That is da bomb, dude.
14. Aloo gobi— Indeedy-doody. Had some for lunch today, at this fabulous authentic Indian place.
15. Hot dog from a street cart — No. But they don’t have them as prolifically where i am, and where i’m from, as they do in New York, so I can put this down to being culturally challenged. I’ve had tons of hot dogs. With mustard, ketchup and onion.
16. Epoisses — No.
17. Black truffle — No, I wish.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes — Elderflower. I would tell you how it tasted but i don’t remember, because i got so plastered on it that i passed out.
19. Steamed pork buns — No, i am not a piggie-eating person very often.
20. Pistachio ice cream — yes, love it.
21. Heirloom tomatoes — probably.
22. Fresh wild berries — yes, we used to have blackberries growing at the end of our garden.
23. Foie gras— hell yeah. On toast. LOVE IT. (Sorry, gooseys.)
24. Rice and beans — lie, duh.
25. Brawn, or head cheese — ugh. (Looked it up.) Feh. No.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper – nah. Chillis don’t do it for me, i’m not bovvered.
27. Dulce de leche — yes, once. Ambrosia.
28. Oysters — only crackers.
29. Baklava—  many times. Divoon.
30. Bagna cauda — No, but I wanna!
31. Wasabi peas — wasabi, but no peas.
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl — no clam chowder, no sourdough bowl, although i have had soup in a bread bowl.
33. Salted lassi — Who killed Lassie? And why salt her? How can she rescue Timmy down the well now? (I hide my foodie-challenged-state with humour, heh.)
34. Sauerkraut — yes
35. Root beer float — no, and i beg cultural-deficiency for this one too (see # 15).
36. Cognac with a fat cigar — Yes, and yes, but not together.
37. Clotted cream tea — yes 🙂
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O— yes. Several. At the same time. Heh.
39. Gumbo — Nope. Again, not a seafood fan.
40. Oxtail — No, no desire to.
41. Curried goat — No, but I have read it.
42. Whole insects — Not intentionally.
43. Phaal — No, but when i get to Brick Lane next, I will.
44. Goat’s milk — Yes, oddly enough, i had a lot of goat’s milk growing up.
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/€80/$120 or more — yes i have, and it was worth every penny.
46. Fugu — No, and I’d have to know the chef personally and trust them fully to eat it.
47. Chicken tikka masala — Of course. I’m British.
48. Eel — No. Ick!
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut — No, see # 15 and # 35.
50. Sea urchin — No.
51. Prickly pear — No.
52. Umeboshi — No.
53. Abalone — No. Snails do not appeal to me.
54. Paneer — Yes.
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal — Yes.
56. Spaetzle— Yes, and in the Schwarzwalde too. Jealous much?
57. Dirty gin martini — Hell yeah, baby.
58. Beer above 8% — I’m not a beer fan.
59. Poutine — no.
60. Carob chips — yes.
61. S’mores — No, see # 15, # 35 and #49.
62. Sweetbreads — No.
63. Kaolin — The witness from the OJ trial? I am not a cannibal, I’m a Minx.
64. Currywurst — No.
65. Durian — No.
66. Frogs’ legs — No. Poor little froggies.
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake — No, and once again I plead cultural deprivation.
68. Haggis — Veggie haggis, yes.
69. Fried plantain — yes.
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette— I’ve had kishkes — does that count?
71. Gazpacho — yes.
72. Caviar and blini— Salmon caviar, yes. Blini (or, as I call them, blintzes), hell yeah. Both savoury and sweet. Fablious. But not together.
73. Louche absinthe — no, but i wanna, a lot.
74. Gjetost, or brunost — no.
75. Roadkill — er — do the fuck what? Of course not!
76. Baijiu — no, but i would, in a heartbeat.
77. Hostess Fruit Pie — again, with the cultural bias of this list, It’s outrageous. No.
78. Snail — No. Blech.
79. Lapsang souchong — Yes.
80. Bellini — No.
81. Tom yum — Yes, and i loved it.
82. Eggs Benedict — No.
83. Pocky — Yes, i bought some in a Chinese supermarket in London.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant — No, not yet.
85. Kobe beef — No, not yet.
86. Hare — No, bleugh.
87. Goulash — Yes. Love it.
88. Flowers — Er… wtf? God no.
89. Horse — NO!
90. Criollo chocolate — No, I wish.
91. Spam — No, I do NOT wish. (Walks away humming “spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, loverly SPAM, loverly spam…”)
92. Soft shell crab — No, seafood. Feh.
93. Rose hariss — I am not ashamed to admit that i have no idea what this is, and i couldn’t find it in WIkipedia.
94. Catfish — No.
95. Mole poblano — No.
96. Bagel and lox — Are ya shittin’ me? Of course.
97. Lobster Thermidor — No, but I’d LOVE TO. (Unsubtle hint to any gentle reader who might want to take me out for an expensively messy dinner.)
98. Polenta — Yes.
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee — Yes, fresh ground too.
100. Snake — No, and I never will.

Wanna do the meme? Go for it, but let me know that you have.

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Back, and newly-employed

Posted in minx on September 10, 2008 by evilminx

I am BACK!

Yes, fresh from the poolside recliners and chlorine-impregnated waters of Blackpool-on-Sea-Except-Abroad, i am here. Much has happened in the life of the minx, and it behooves me to fill you in… and I will. Calm yourselves. Patience.

Or as I once said to a friend at 3.00 a.m. “Easy, tiger.”

So, you’ll remember the Bosshole. And the Letter. The one I didn’t send. In lieu of sending the Missive of Fuckyouness that i wrote with such pithy (and pissy, come to that) ire, I sent something else instead. My résumé. To many people.

I had tired, you see of my Former Occupation. I used to do something Technical, and i wanted to be able to use the skills I’ve been honing by blogging for y’all, and earn substantial sums of money doing so. Well, not all the skills. I can’t find a way to earn the living that will keep me in the style to which I’d like to become accustomed, that’s legal, or possible during the hours i have in which to work (i.e., the hours where the young Minxette and Manx are otherwise occupied). So it seemed as though I needed to stay within the world of IT, which meant finding a company who would take a chance on an albeit talented writer, who — on paper, at least — had nothing in the way of marketing writing experience.

Well, i couldn’t show them this blog, now, could I? You think they’d be able to read this and then keep a straight face during a team meeting?

Of course not.

Anyway, i found a company and showed them some of my more vanilla writings, and they hired me. I started this week, and so far, so hoopy.

To quote the utterly fabulous Eddie Izzard, “So… um… yeah.” Or maybe I already said that? Either way, things are looking up.

Oh! And most important of all… I have decided to venture into the realm of being a professional author, and get some of my creative stuff published. Apparently there’s a name for the kind of fiction i write: Flash fiction. Or, in my case, flash erotica. It’s a fairly descriptiive name in that it refers to fiction that is no longer than 1000 words or less, even. THis is incredibly good news for me because the way I write naturally lends itself to that phenomenon. NOt that I couldn’t write a longer story, say, or even a novel or a play, I’mn sure i could; but  the way my life works, I simply don’t have the time and space to do that.

In truth, I’d always believed that I was simply undisciplined, but apparently it’s an art form. Or something. Either way, wish me luck. Any and all tips are welcome, because i could use some sound advice.

More soon, folks, and this time it involves food…