The end is nigh.

Somehow, this weekend, i am going to gather every last piece of my courage and fortified reserve, and i am going to end this constant discussion of “will we separate temporarily or for good?” I say constant, but in reality i bring it up, we talk, i get cold feet and insist on a trial separation, he stamps and yells and says “oh no, what’s the point?” and i can’t bear the nastiness and the tension so i give in, as i have been conditioned to do for so many years, and i can’t stand it any more, and I’m so fucking miserable, and when is my conscious state going to get the webos to do what my subconscious state has been telling me — and you all, via my fingertips, which is its main mode of escape — that i should have done way back in March 2005 and get single already for crissakes, i mean, AAG did it, and she’s my fucking heroine and i can do it, i just need the boost, i just need the push; and he took my car with my sunglasses in it this morning and i have to go into town and now i have to squint like Renee Zellwegger at the Golden Globes all the way in, which pisses me off, i should be able to know that if i leave MY sunglasses in MY car, then they will still be there when i wake up, even if i did stagger in at about 3.30 from a night of what could potentially have been debauched fun but in reality wasn’t because i have the tail end of the curse, and it still bothers me — yes, i know, the Feminists will probably revoke my membership for this, but i actually don’t like the idea of a man eating my pussy when I’ve got the curse… sue me, bitches, see if i give a rat’s ass.

Stream of consciousness from a barely conscious and somewhat tearful Minx. If ever i needed comfort and support, it’s today. Love you all.

(I can hear hyenas. I see them.)

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11 Responses to “The end is nigh.”

  1. Sabrina Morgan Says:

    *hugs* It won’t be long now. The light is coming.

    You can do this, and you’re not alone. Lots of love Minxy dear.

  2. AlwaysArousedGirl Says:

    Be patient. You’ll know when you are ready. You’ll be exactly strong enough, and exactly angry enough, and exactly controlled enough.

    You’ll know.

    Hugs.

  3. What difference does it matter if it’s called temporary or permanent. Once you’re out why should you go back. If you’re at the point or dissolving your marriage, does it really matter what the other thinks? Do it for you.
    Good luck.

  4. Dirty Debbie Says:

    I’m sure that you will do it and will prevail.
    I think living on the edge for two is worse than whatever you have to face ahead of you.
    As it says in your ‘About Me’ section I think that you will keep emerging from the darkness.
    I look forward to seeing you in full bloom in the sunshine.

  5. All of her Secrets Says:

    It will happen…and when it does..it will be right. I just did it..it took a very long time and a lot of courage..but I am typing this to you in my very own bed in my very own home..and it was worth every single painful moment. I’ve never left you a comment before but have been a visitor for quite some time..following your story… hugs

  6. Al Sensu Says:

    If you’re asking for a friendly kick in the ass, bend over baby!

    And then you can do the same to him.

  7. ArtfulDodger Says:

    What is hard to see now, and what makes this easier than you think, is how much better you’ll feel once those words escape your lips. They’re inside you right now just eating away at you and they want out, they want to help you to forge a new life, to stand strong, to be yourself and to have that chance to find happiness, they really do. All you have to do is let them out. The journey after that just gets easier and easier.

    Thoughts are with you, sorry I missed this weekend and hope you are well. Kisses and hugs.

  8. Desire X Says:

    Hey, what’s this overeducated skank business? I didn’t know I needed an education to be my skanky self. Is this a new requirement in skankdom? Is your skanky club closed or can any old skank join?

    Just teasing your overeducated skanky ass.

    Hugs from us! Wish you were here, we’d do it in person too.

    Him

  9. sinclair Says:

    don’t let yourself stay in this state, clear out the dust and get rid of that which does not make you soar. xo

  10. Minerva Says:

    You are doing brilliantly.. This is one of the hardest parts, it is gruelling and horrid and because you are a wonderful intelligent woman all the more difficult..

    Be brave, step into the light (with the sunglasses) and just carry on, carrying on..

    M

  11. Rip off that bandaid. Do it fast. And then come visit me and the goddesses. We’ve all been there. We can give you what you’ll need. Starting with a PBR.

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

    You’re amazing. You’ll be brilliant!

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