Archive for November, 2006

Meeting in a Car – part one

Posted in minx with tags on November 27, 2006 by evilminx

What would be the correct form of greeting for such an assignation? she wondered to herself, as she negotiated the lunchtime traffic.

An outstretched arm to shake his hand as he slides into the front seat next to her?

Both arms extended for a warm and friendly hug, that wouldn’t belie her true feelings (a combination of giddy excitement, and nervous terror)?

Or a slow lingering kiss, growing in rapid intensity and passion, sending tingles all over her body, and shivers up and down her spine.

She knew already, without a doubt.

She knew that to kiss him straight away was madness. She also knew that she wouldn’t be able to help herself. Goddamn fucking blind date etiquette.

*******************************

This broke every rule she’d ever established for meeting up with a blind date. This was not a public place, it was her car. She could be trapping herself in a tin can with a lunatic.

She didn’t care.

She’d felt the connection, when they’d first exchanged emails. It’s quite astounding really, how pheromones can travel via email. You can tell from how a person writes, from what they say, from how they phrase… whether it’s game on, or no way Jose.

This had been game on from the get go. The click, the connection, that feeling. That smooth lilting accent that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

She’d felt it, instinctively. And the funny thing was, so had he.

*******************************

He had no idea what he should do. How he should act.

He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to slide in next to her, and take her in his arms, and kiss her until they were both dizzy. But was it appropriate? Would she mind? Would it scare her? Would she respond by kissing him back, or would she slap his face?

Goddamn fucking blind date etiquette.

His cock was hard as a rock, straining against the denim of his jeans, indenting a permanent tent shape into the fabric. He’d been walking around work carrying a strategically placed file all morning, hoping to god that the innocent look he’d worked on, as he stared in the bathroom mirror that morning, was still firmly ensconced on his face.

This woman had gotten to him like no one had in ages. He couldn’t put his finger on it, it was just that special spark of mutual attraction that happens on rare occasions.

And he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

*******************************

In the midst of her pondering, the car door swung open, and he slid into the seat next to her.

She was slightly taken aback — despite having thought of little else than this moment for the past few days. At the last minute, her mind had wandered, and she’d found herself wondering about parking in the city, of all the trivialities that could have occupied her mind at the time.

She turned, and slipped off her sunglasses, as he leaned in towards her. She caught a glimpse of his sparkling green eyes, with a glint that matched her own. He drew closer, and she smelled his cologne; musky, manly and very sexy.

There was a nanosecond of indecision, on her part. As far as he was concerned, it was already signed, sealed and delivered.

His lips felt soft, yet commanding and strong. His tongue teased hers, and her lips teased his in retaliation. She moved closer to him, as he put his hand on her face, the intimacy of which delighted her. She lost track of her thoughts, and her head span, and when they finally broke, she panted and shook her head, vainly trying to return to some semblance of normality.

“That was the official ‘hello’ ” he said. “Why don’t you pull over further up the road so i can kiss you again? That’ll be in lieu of a ‘How are you doing?’ “

She mumbled something incoherent in reply, breathless and indistinct. “You’ve… turned my brain to mush… I can’t think straight… can’t think of anything… yes, OK, I’ll drive up there, shall I?”

She drove. She parked the car. They kissed again, this time for longer. When they broke, this time he was the one panting.

“I think we should shelve lunch. I think I’ll have you for lunch instead.”

To be continued….

Dentist

Posted in minx with tags on November 27, 2006 by evilminx

I write to you upon returning — triumphant — from the dentist.

I only have to have one filling, which is a refilling of the filled tooth that broke this weekend.

Because, you know, my life doesn’t suck enough.

Anyway, the nice new dentist — after enduring a sobbing Minx exclaim pitifully how utterly crap she is, and how, even at the age of 37, she becomes increasingly fraught with nerves and stress at the mere mention of the dentist, and could he please ensure that he’s extra-specially nice to her because she is, in fact, a big old baby — checked all her teeth and assured her that there were no other “catastrophes”, as he put it.

Then he explained how she might like to consider using nitrous oxide as a relaxant when he performs said filling.

The words “oh god yes yes yes please please PLEASE” sprang to my lips, but i contained myself and said “Yes, i was rather hoping you’d suggest that. No one ever has before, and i think it would have removed many of my dentist-related anxieties if someone once had done exactly that.”

He then went on to explain what it means to use nitrous oxide, and how it is administered and how I was likely to feel under its influence.

“You’ll feel a numbness in your arms and legs, and you’ll feel as though you’re floating. The pain will be greatly lessened, but if you do feel any, you won’t care.”

I replied that so far, he’d said nothing which either frightened or didn’t delight me. Heh.

And then he said something that nearly caused me to spit out the cotton wad inserted between my gum and broken tooth.

“You should know that in the rare cases of some women, it can cause a loss of sexual inhibition.”

I looked him straight in the eye.

“But, Doctor, i don’t have that many inhibitions to begin with. Is that a good or a bad thing?”

Poor man. He blushed furiously, and refused to meet my gaze.

“If you are an extrovert, and are generally less uptight and inhibited, the gas is likely to have less of such an effect in that way. In any case, if you start becoming…. (here he coughed, ostentatiously) amorous, the nurse will help settle you down.”

Then he looked at me and grinned.

“But, like i said, It’s very rare.”

So come January, one of us may be in for a shock…!

Anyway, gentle reader, stay tuned. I’m embarked on a new piece of fiction which will be up shortly. Avanti!

Stolen meme

Posted in minx with tags on November 9, 2006 by evilminx

Stolen from ArtfulDodger, who stole it from Dzer, who got it from god-knows-where. And who cares. I haven’t memed in too fucking long. And i loves me a good meme.

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.
He was a self-obsessed, self-focusing and selfish, pathetic little man. There was no room for me.

2. When was the last time you shaved?
I shaved this morning. (My legs, that is. I use Veet for other, more significant locations.)

3. What were you doing at 8:00 am this morning?
Stopping at the grocery store for a pack of ciggies — i found myself without, which would render the drive into work a nightmare of epic proportions.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Talking on the phone. Oh, and chatting via IM with Scarlet.

5. Are you any good at math?
I’ve actually recently been officially diagnosed as discalculic, which is the math equivalent of dyslexic. In other words, no, i utterly and completely suck at math.

6. Your prom night?
Didn’t have a prom — I grew up in the UK.

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
No.

8. Are you upset about Britney Spears failed marriage?
Her marriage failed? What a shock.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your Myspace profile?
Don’t have a MySpace profile. I have enough trouble finding time to keep up with this blog.

10. Last thing you received in the mail?
A book, and a dolphin.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?
Coffee (two cappuccinos) and a litre of water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machines?
Yes. And i use my phone voice too. It’s very sultry and provocative. And sometimes i make rude and perverted noise with my tongue — but only when i know the person well enough.

13. Who did you lose your concert virginity to?
Sting – The Dream of the Blue Turtles tour, in 1986. I was 17.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
I have done, but i don’t make a habit of it.

15. What was the most painful dental procedure you’ve ever had?
Having two wisdom teeth extracted. And the dentist was a sadistic fucker too — could have auditioned for “Little Shop of Horrors” and got the part of Orin Scrivello, DDS in a snap. And given Steve Martin a run for his money.

16. What is out your back door?
Air. I live on the fourth floor.

17. Any plans for Friday night?
I’m making a yummy goulash and plan to cuddle up with my kids and the TV.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?
No! I’m very vain about my barnet. The sea (As previously expressed, I am a Brit, we say “sea”, not “ocean”) makes it all salty and sticky. And not in a post-coital way, so it’s no fun at all.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?
I have no idea what they are. However, i absolutely love popcorn, so should anyone reading this wish to send me one, email me and we’ll discuss logistics.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Not just any old planetarium. The planetarium, in Baker Street, next to Madame Tussauds. Specifically, school trips, and the laser show on a Saturday night, set to Beatles or Pink Floyd, depending on that night’s operator.

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?
Yes. I use the same towel for about a week.

22. Some things you are excited about?
I’m not excited about anything very much. A bit of peace and quiet in the coming week, since CH is off on a guys-only week’s holiday.

23. What is your favorite flavor of Jell-O?
Blackcurrant. It’s gotta be.

And it’s called JELLY.

24. Describe your key chains.
My key chain (singular, please note) has a littel connecting thingie (to use the correct technical terminology), which can come apart if necessary (like when i’ve forgotten my sunglasses inthe house (can you tell that this is a frequent occurrence at Minx central?) i can leave the key in the ignition of the car and run inside and get them, without having to shlep the minxette and the young manx out of their car seats. On one side, it has my house key, and a breast cancer supporter key ring thingie, and on the other side it has a pen and my car key.

25. What is the very first song in your iTunes library?
I don’t have an iTunes library, but the first song in my online music collection is “I’m sorry”, by Anouk, when I sort it by date.

26. Where do you keep your change?
In my purse. (Again, in the British vernacular. For all you Yankee Doodles out there, not to mention the Canucks and the Southerners, this means what you would call a wallet. We only call ’em wallets when they are owned by men.)

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?
I have a few, actually. One is a very sexy suede jacket, sheepskin lined. One is a big, stuffy, warm coat with a fake-fur trimmed hood that makes me look a bit like an Eskimo. One is shiny and silver and has Persian lamb wool trimming (i don’t know if it’s real and dyed or utterly fake). And one is a North Face jacket which is so warm and cuddly, it’s what i usually wear.

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?
Graduation day for me was from university. It was a beautiful June day, sunny and warm.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
Open.

30. Do you want to keep blogging?
Was there ever any doubt that i would? Just for the record, I have never contemplated giving up blogging, and i never will. I’m here, and i’m here to stay. Just in case you were wondering.