In recovery

It’s over. And hopefully done with.

She came through it fine, apart from some unrequited yowling as the anesthetic wore off, but with barely a scratch on her. Before I say anything else, let me state that clearly.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I managed to miss her being taken away for the operation, which upset me yesterday but in the delightful, rosily-hued hindsight of reflection, I find myself quite relieved. I was taking the young Manx to school at the time, and her surgery wasn’t scheduled to begin before 8.30 a.m. Therefore, upon arriving at 7.45 a.m. and finding that I’d missed it by five minutes due to an unexpected cancellation, I cried.

For the first time that morning.

Then we sat, CH and I, in the waiting room. As you can imagine, my state of mind was somewhere between the moon and New York City. It was a most unusual situation to be in. How could I be sitting quietly, in an air-conditioned room, with the TV quietly blasting some halfwitted celebrity fitness instructor, while some big old doctor was doing things with knives and scalpels to my baby? (I couldn’t even allow the word “cut” to cross my mind, it made my stomach plunge downwards and up again in a most alarming fashion.)

I knew that whatever I was feeling, I wasn’t alone. For starters, CH was with me — and whatever I have to say about our relationship (and there’s plenty!), he is a wonderful father. There were others in the waiting room who had loved ones simultaneously going under the knife. This I knew, only too well.

And yet I felt as though I were the only person in the room. That I was sitting in a haze of slo-mo, like something out of a David Lynch film. Nothing made sense. The TV now showing cookery slot, but I couldn’t compute it. I kept looking blankly at the screen, not comprehending anything.

It was surreal. I had no idea I could feel so deeply. That sounds absurd, but it was as though my whole body was in pain with the agony of not knowing. I’d discussed the surgery with so many people beforehand, from the medical perspectives all the way through the philosophical ones, but when it actually came down to waiting for her to come through to recovery, it was like nothing I had ever previously known.

That was literally the longest hour of my life.

However, it’s now all behind me. She’s fine, full of beans, bouncing around having fun, and completely refusing to let anyone give her the post-operative medication that she’s supposed to take. I spent much of yesterday and all of today repeatedly exhaling. I felt as though i hadn’t breathed properly for weeks.

I wrote in the comments below how wonderful you all have been to me. I’d like to take a moment to reiterate that.

Since I began blogging, a whole new dimension has been added to my interpersonal relationships. The “blogpal”, or “online friend”. I heard from so many people — in comments and via email — that I knew i was blessed. It really did strengthen and fortify me enough to be able to cope with the day’s events.

Knowing that I was cared for, being thought about and prayed for by so many was an incredible feeling. I thank you all, with the deepest sincerity. You really touched my soul.

Minx

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18 Responses to “In recovery”

  1. Nice to know all is well in the Minxdom …hugs all around …

  2. Kyahgirl Says:

    aw, I’m glad she’s doing ok.
    I’ve been in that waiting room a few times so understand the gut wrenching fear and pain.

    best wishes to you and the Minxette.

  3. Londinium Says:

    Glad to hear li’l Minx came through it all OK.

    Lx

  4. I’m thrilled to hear that she’s bounced back so quickly! Always a good thing. And you’re right about online friends and blogpals…who knew you could have such great support from people you only know through the exchange of some binary code?!

  5. i’ve been in THAT wiating room, and also the OR. the feelings are just as you said. i’m sending prayers and positive thoughts to you and your family, minxy!

  6. AlwaysArousedGirl Says:

    Glad she’s ok and that you are ok too.

    Hugs.

  7. ArtfulDodger Says:

    What a huge relief, you and she have been weighing heavy on my heart. Good news all around. 🙂 For once. Keep the courage.

  8. Great news loveyducks!

  9. The Gnat's Trumpet Says:

    I’m very glad to read that she came through fine. Sorry I haven’t been around, but I’ve had no access to the internet since last week. I came back to read the last two posts and I must say that I can’t even imagine what you have been going through (it was bad enough for me doing something as mundane as taking my two little guys on a flight to a strange city). I’ll say it again though, I’m really glad that she has come through fine.

  10. The Gnat's Trumpet Says:

    I’m very glad to read that she came through fine. Sorry I haven’t been around, but I’ve had no access to the internet since last week. I came back to read the last two posts and I must say that I can’t even imagine what you have been going through (it was bad enough for me doing something as mundane as taking my two little guys on a flight to a strange city). I’ll say it again though, I’m really glad that she has come through fine.

  11. The Gnat's Trumpet Says:

    My computer locked up when I was leaving a comment so I don’t know if it went through, but I was trying to tell you how glad I was to read that she came through fine and to say I’m sorry for not commenting sooner. My excuse is that I didn’t have internet access for the last week or so. Anyway, I want you to know that I am thinking of your daughter and you, I can’t imagine what you have been going through and I’m really glad that she is ok.

  12. The Gnat's Trumpet Says:

    My computer locked up when I was leaving a comment so I don’t know if it went through, but I was trying to tell you how glad I was to read that she came through fine and to say I’m sorry for not commenting sooner. My excuse is that I didn’t have internet access for the last week or so. Anyway, I want you to know that I am thinking of your daughter and you, I can’t imagine what you have been going through and I’m really glad that she is ok.

  13. lash505 Says:

    Good news on that one. We just got a kitten any advice.

  14. So very glad Darling….

    But then she does have the spirit, guts and strength of her mother…

  15. Starved Says:

    I love you. Glad everything came out alright.

    I understand how you were feeling.. its strange.. and almost life changing.. But in the end it turns out to be for the best

  16. Miz BoheMia Says:

    Wow Minxy! I am so glad she came through ok. Just even imagining my children in such a situation has me in tears… to live it… my god the pain…

    Here’s to a speedy healing and to much hell-raising and spunk from your fab little girl! That’s mummy’s girl for sure!

    Breathe! You made it through! Big bohemian hugs coming your way!

  17. crabcake Says:

    I’m so happy she did well and is on the mend.

    I agree with miz bohemia…breath. You’ll need it because that little one is gonna run you raggedy. LOL!

  18. Miss Syl Says:

    I’m so glad to hear Minxette is well and on the mend! I remember sitting in the waiting room during my dad’s heart surgery. It’s agonizing, waiting for the doctor to finally come in and give you the report. When it’s a child involved, I can only imagine how much worse it must be.

    Love to you and hope the wee one has a very speedy recovery.

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