Archive for May, 2006

Jigsaw of life

Posted in minx with tags on May 23, 2006 by evilminx

It’s astonishing how often this blog has saved my sanity.

My life is — to put it mildly — complicated. This blog is my sanctuary, my special place. When I’m down, I write here. When I’m happy, I write here. When I’m stressed, I write here.

Sometimes I cannot find my voice, and I cannot post. These days are the worst as I walk around with the weight of the world upon my shoulders. And then something will happen — a comment from a friendly blogpal, or an email… or I’ll read a post by someone else on my blogroll — and that’s all it takes. A shift, two or three small paces to the left; and I’m back in the room.

The comments I receive from you people hearten me. Your support of me as a person. I shouldn’t need validation — in theory, we none of us do. We “write for ourselves”. We “don’t need validation”. How many times have I written or read those words, pertaining to me or to someone else in this close-knit blogging community? Dozens, perhaps hundreds. But the truth is that you help strengthen me by reading. I do not ask you to condone or condemn my life choices. Just read me.

I stand before you today, a Minx exposed. I bare my soul to you. I have been doing so since I started writing here, a little over a year ago. I have made choices in my life that have surprised even me; I’m not an amoral person, and yet I transgress certain moral boundaries that from an external perspective I once found abhorrent. On one level, I am ashamed of my transgression. On another, it fits into my mad, bad, complicated life like everything else. I perceive it as a multi-piece, highly complex jigsaw… but I’m still missing some pieces.

And through writing here, I seem to find these pieces, one at a time. I still have many more to go. Some pieces are being hidden from me deliberately. Some are just out of reach. Of some I am not even yet aware. Eventually, one day, I’ll find them all.

Of course the last one will be hidden under a long-decomposed piece of pasta, under a small toy, behind the big heavy sofa which is a complete pig to move. How appropriate a metaphor is that? Heh.

In my last post, I mentioned certain new blogpals, and certain (*she hesitates to say old… in order not to offend anyone*) longer-established blogpals (whew!). There are many more of each whom I did not mention there, but for whom the same feelings hold true.

And now I’m off to look for jigsaw pieces.

Minxy

….And in with the new!

Posted in minx with tags on May 20, 2006 by evilminx

I have been quiet this week. Or at least, that’s what *you* think. My life ex this blog has been a crazy barrel of laughs. Seriously.

I have work coming out of my ears. I had children coming out of or kicking me in every other orifice. In short, I’ve been busy as fuck. And it’s been fun. Heh.

And with work, family and life in general, my blogging is somewhat restricted much of the time. If it were up to me, I’d be glued to my laptop 24*7. According to many around me, I am. Well, hell — it don’t feel that way to me.

So what’s new? More to the point (insert typical Jewish shrug here) “Vot ken you do?”

There is something I’ve been meaning to ramble on about aimlessly for a while. (And you know how well I do that. Heh. ) I have quite a long blogroll; in fact I pride myself on it and brush it with one hundred strokes every night before bed and you’d think I don’t have time to regularly get round to reading everyone.

That’s not quite the case; I firstly check on the people whose blogs show an update, and then I peruse the blogs who never show an update but are in no way dormant. Like Crazy, from Crazy Like a Fox. I love her tagline (“One Rorschach test away from being committed”) and she always has something interesting and kick-ass to say. And Alex and Suze — hot and steaming, but never indicating that they’ve updated. But most do.

Recently I have been doing some housekeeping on my blogroll. You know, out with the old and defunct, in with the new and shiny.

_Homer_Simpson_Mode_on

Mmmmm. Shiny.

_Homer_Simpson_Mode_off

Goodbye Monkey, I’ll miss you, good luck with the baby. Goodbye Tommy and Mo’s Girl… you guys rocked. Goodbye Shy Rocket — it was too brief and fleeting an acquaintance, but I loved it while it lasted. Shame you all went, you were great. I hope everything is OK.

Of course, some people close down shop in one place only to open it up somewhere else. That’s always fun.

And then there are those who say they’re leaving but I don’t believe them. They’ll be back. They always come back. Right, Strumpalola?

Anyway, onto the shiny (“Mmmmm! Shiny! Shiny! Shiny!”) new links. Go visit ’em and tell ’em the Minx sent you.

Firstly the lovely Roxi at Between a Rock and a Diamond. Hilarious! Smart! Interesting! A totally unique perspective on life, with an attitude I can only envy. Go, go, go talk to her. Now.

Someone I have linked for a while but don’t think I’ve ever mentioned is the fablious Madame X. That woman creases me up. And sexy? Whew. *Fans self vigorously* Enough to turn a straight girl bent. Well, not quite, but you know what I mean.

A very recent link (for those of you who keep up with my comments) is Crabcake. Bless her. A sense of humour at which I drool with envy, and a great blog to boot.

If you want irreverent and NSFW humour, not to mention the occasional spank-fest, go visit the Irreverent Reverend. He brought himself to my attention by leaving me the following comment: “Girl, you need religion.” Since I already have religion in spades; Jewish guilt is worse than Catholic guilt, in case you weren’t already aware, I followed the link to see where it led me. And it led me to fun, fun, fun! Nothing serious, some sensational erotic art and photography, and much profanity at the Church of the Hard Fucks. Heee!

There’s also my pal Hypnodog, whom I love dearly. This man is a very good friend to your Minx, and writes some great stuff. Plus he can hypnotize you, which may actually be the sole reason why I’m writing this. Heh. I jest.

Back from the dead is Bare Frame, with the newly-named and revamped The Naked Eye. This is a blog that speaks for itself. Go look, all straight and bi women, bi and gay men… An aesthetic treat.

There are many others on my blogroll whom I’m not mentioning here, because to do so would be… well, like regurgitating my blogroll. All my staunch friends from the past year are still there, and I still visit regularly. They’ll be the subject of another post to be written soon. Just a quick shout out to the Corporal, Minerva and Artful Dodger without whom I’d be toast. Literally. Love you guys so much.

And of course, my friend. Without whom I’d be incomplete and miserable.

Later, y’all.
Minxy xxxxxxx

Reflectrospective for O: You’ve come a long way, baby…

Posted in minx with tags on May 15, 2006 by evilminx

A few weeks ago I coined the term “reflectrospective” (Which I think should be co-opted into Webster’s as soon as) and talked about the last year since I’ve been on the personal non-vanilla blog scene.

Much has been made of achieving a year of blogging. Many of the blogs I read either just have or are just are about to celebrate a year in existence. (Viviane’s Sex Carnival is just one example.) EOTOS actually celebrates a full year since its inception today (May 15th), coincidentally.

However, it’s not the blog that’s really important, it’s the life behind it. And this Minx’s life was hugely enriched by some of the people behind other blogs that have becomes compulsive everyday reading material for me. Frankly, I often forgo the news in order to catch up on my blogroll.

However, this reflectrospective is all about someone who has been there for me during the entire journey of the last annum (Should that be annus? Surely not. Much, much, much too funny!!), and without whom I could not have made it to this day. Not with my sanity intact, anyway.

O of Eros, Logos, actually started her blog a week or so before this one, but according to her was “inspired by my previous and now non-Etna-like permanently dormant blog Evil Grins and More. Considering the attrocious standard of some of the writing on EGAM, and the consistently wonderful pieces on EL, it’s hard to believe that anything i did inspired her. She even still links it, bless her (see “Original Minx” on her blogroll).

O was one of the first friends I made through blogging. Real friends, that is. When everything went pear-shaped for me a year ago, she was there immediately, despite not really knowing me that well. A state of affairs that changed almost almost straight away. We began by commenting to each other, and then emailing, then progressing on to IM and skype (“goddamn skype!”) and soon became fast friends.

O has been there for me constantly. We have laughed together — a lot; she has a wickedly delicious sense of humour. In fact, I’d rank her up there with the Brits as far as dry and sharp goes. She is also enormously intelligent, and utterly awful at taking a compliment. For example, when she reads this, she’ll be blushing furiously, throwing pillows at her laptop, and IM-ing me to stop being such a sappy daft cow.

Nuh-uh, sister. Sappy daft cow is the order of the day. So there, ner.

Within the blogging framework, she is notable for writing some of the most coherent and beautiful prose on the web. Always insightful and eloquent, often moving and emotive, frequently hot and erotic, consistently well-written and interesting and perpetually worth reading. I am not exaggerating when I say that she is one of the best writers I have ever read. Ever, not just in blogging. I believe the world will see much of her — although we may not recognize her in real life.

Her capacity to understand and dissect an issue correctly repeatedly amazes me. Throughout my fractured and sickly relationship with G, she accurately predicted forthcoming behaviour and actions from him (and me!) time and time again.

The last year has been one of turmoil and rollercoaster-like proportions for both of us. And we somehow each seemed to mirror the highs and lows the other’s life, throughout. Both of us at simultaneous peaks and valleys of circumstance, emotion and adjustment. We discussed our relationships — her with the URL-titular cyber affair about whom she first began Eros, Logos, the ubiquitous P (“always comes before O.” Heh.).

See, that’s her sense of humour. She fucking slays me every time. And I say this with completely accidental reference to her Buffy-worship. Heh.

I’ve learned so much from her. She’s incredibly techno-capable and talented, and it’s all self-taught. She’s inspirational in how she has achieved everything she has, just by virtue of her astounding intelligence and driven personality.

She was the one who designed my first non-blogger designer template — giving up hours of her personal time to making it look just right, to creating my still extant lovely purry-furry dividers (rawr). I owe her copious amounts of lokshen kugel and chicken soup for that, which she has an open invitation to come and collect whenever she wants. That was the payment we agreed — that she’d design me a template, and i’d feed her when she came to stay over here.

There is always a place for you in my home, O. Templates notwithstanding. Just turn up.

She gives of herself so unselfishly, to many others as well as me. It says a great deal that this reflectrospective is only one of a huge number of blog tributes to her blogversary that have been posted on a Heinz-like variety of blogs. She constantly and patiently puts up with the unwanted but unavoidable intrusion of my real life into my correspondence-commitments, time and time again.

She has a capacity for love and caring that amazes me afresh each time she demonstrates it. I have a Dilbert mug on my desk, with a picture of Dogbert saying sarcastically “Let me drop everything and work on your problem.” That’s her — but with a complete and abject absence of Dogbert’s biting sarcasm.

O officially celebrated her blogday last week, so this comes a little late. As i often seem to do for her, which i regret sincerely. I’m often playing catch-up with her — my life bogs me down. It doesn’t lessen the sincerity with which i write. Not at all. I’ll always be there for her, and I value her so highly that I don’t even have the words to express how much.

Happy, happy, happy one year blogversary, O. May you continue to go from strength to strength: on your blog and in your life. I look forward to observing just that… for a long time to come.

Kisses
Minxy

Meme’d by Miss Syl

Posted in minx with tags on May 8, 2006 by evilminx

I AM…. very different on the inside than a lot of people think.

I SAID…. I wouldn’t but I did. Twice. And it was so much better than I’d imagined.

I WANT…. the limbo to end.

I WISH…. I could be where my heart lies.

I HATE…. the incessant guilt, depression and paranoia that stay with me despite the fact that I’m a grown woman.

I MISS…. Cambridge. I always have, but now even more so. I went to University there, and made a lot of life choices that I would change if I could turn back time but know then what I know now.

I FEAR…. losing the ability to write. Or think. These scare me beyond belief.

I HEAR…. your voice and I melt.

I WONDER…. how I got to this particular point, just to look back and not be able to remember a single decision I made really autonomously.

I REGRET…. taking so damn long to listen to my heart.

I AM NOT…. nearly as strong as I would have people think.

I DANCE…. with my kids all the time. Alone in the car. Whenever I can; I love to dance.

I SING…. professionally. It’s therapy for me to sing, and I love it. One day, I’ll figure out how to Audiopost something here and I’ll sing y’all something. (Anyone with any tips on how to post an audio post but not using AudioBlogger, please leave me your email in the comments.)

I CRY… often. Too much, maybe. But I believe sincerely that the healing properties of tears are seriously underrated.

I AM NOT ALWAYS…. a hardass. I can be one, certainly. But mostly my ass is soft and squishy.

I MADE…. my bed, and whatever the consequences, I will lie in it.

I WRITE…. all the time. All of it. But I love to write, so this suits me fine.

I CONFUSE…. words easily when I’m tired. Just the other day I said “train station” when I meant “turning”. I think I’m going insane. Oy.

I SHOULD…. get a manicure and a pedicure. It’s been too long.

I START…. to twitch when I’m near balloons. I don’t see why air should have skin. Ugh. *shudder*

I FINISH…. relationships with great difficulty. Relationships of any nature, not merely romantic. And even when one is ended, despite knowing that the person must be ex my life for the good of my mental health, it doesn’t mean I can forget them or what happened easily. It stays with me for a long time.

I TAG…. no one. Anyone. This is a meme I did for me. For a change.

Meme’d by Miss Syl

Posted in minx with tags on May 8, 2006 by evilminx

I AM…. very different on the inside than a lot of people think.

I SAID…. I wouldn’t but I did. Twice. And it was so much better than I’d imagined.

I WANT…. the limbo to end.

I WISH…. I could be where my heart lies.

I HATE…. the incessant guilt, depression and paranoia that stay with me despite the fact that I’m a grown woman.

I MISS…. Cambridge. I always have, but now even more so. I went to University there, and made a lot of life choices that I would change if I could turn back time but know then what I know now.

I FEAR…. losing the ability to write. Or think. These scare me beyond belief.

I HEAR…. your voice and I melt.

I WONDER…. how I got to this particular point, just to look back and not be able to remember a single decision I made really autonomously.

I REGRET…. taking so damn long to listen to my heart.

I AM NOT…. nearly as strong as I would have people think.

I DANCE…. with my kids all the time. Alone in the car. Whenever I can; I love to dance.

I SING…. professionally. It’s therapy for me to sing, and I love it. One day, I’ll figure out how to Audiopost something here and I’ll sing y’all something. (Anyone with any tips on how to post an audio post but not using AudioBlogger, please leave me your email in the comments.)

I CRY… often. Too much, maybe. But I believe sincerely that the healing properties of tears are seriously underrated.

I AM NOT ALWAYS…. a hardass. I can be one, certainly. But mostly my ass is soft and squishy.

I MADE…. my bed, and whatever the consequences, I will lie in it.

I WRITE…. all the time. All of it. But I love to write, so this suits me fine.

I CONFUSE…. words easily when I’m tired. Just the other day I said “train station” when I meant “turning”. I think I’m going insane. Oy.

I SHOULD…. get a manicure and a pedicure. It’s been too long.

I START…. to twitch when I’m near balloons. I don’t see why air should have skin. Ugh. *shudder*

I FINISH…. relationships with great difficulty. Relationships of any nature, not merely romantic. And even when one is ended, despite knowing that the person must be ex my life for the good of my mental health, it doesn’t mean I can forget them or what happened easily. It stays with me for a long time.

I TAG…. no one. Anyone. This is a meme I did for me. For a change.

Eye to eye

Posted in minx with tags on May 4, 2006 by evilminx

I squirm happily beneath you, as you move within me.

The moist puddle between us is very evident to us both. As you lie on me, your long frame covers my shorter one, our eyes meet and we both smile.

“You’re extremely wet,” you say, eyes boring into mine.

“Well don’t look at me,” I retort laughingly. “It’s all your fault!”

I am not sure how long we’ve been here. All I know is I am loving every second, and in absolutely no hurry for this to end.

I’ve never done this before. Never dragged a man back to my hotel room with such fervour and passion. Never allowed him to remove my clothes with such alacrity; kissing every exposed limb as it was bared; kissing my mouth and my neck and my ear in between.

Never have I returned such passion with such ease… while the way I feel about you is very new and exhilarating on the one hand… on the other hand, nothing has ever felt so natural or so right to me.

I have known you via the web for months, and you have become an essential part of my life. As I have to yours. But nothing could have prepared me for how unbelievably, quintessentially, totally, utterly and completely right this feels. Nothing.

You move your hips against me, and I can feel your hard cock inside me. I let out an involuntary sigh of joy and softly murmur sweet, foreign nothings into your ear, enjoying the look of pleasure on your face as I do.

“Ahuvati hayakar, cama ani ohevet otcha…”

You adore it when I get bilingual with you. And I love to do so. I feel your legs entwine with mine, and run my toe up the back of your shin, as you push deeper inside me; the delight increases more and more.

I am where I’m meant to be. You are when you’re meant to be. Together. Connected.

God, I love you so much.

You move yourself, tantalizingly slowly, embracing me with your whole body as it rubs against mine. I feel your soft skin; your hard velvety cock thrusting inside me. You hold my head in your hands, stroking my cheek with your forefinger, and continue to look deep into my soft brown eyes with your sparkling blue twinkle.

“You love this, don’t you?”

“I do… I do… oh god… don’t stop… that’s so good.. oh baby…”

“I’m not going to stop. No way. However, I am going… to do… this!”

With a skillful sudden move, I find myself on top of you, with your cock still buried within me. Looking down at you, I smile again.

I smile a lot when I’m with you. It’s you; you make me happy.

Now it’s my turn to tantalise you. Grinding my hips against yours teasingly slowly, I look down at you.

“You love this, don’t you, baby?”

“Oh yes…”

“And when I do this?”

You roll your eyes in ecstasy, and sigh. “Oh Minx. You look so incredibly sexy, with your hair tumbling down like that, and that wanton look on your face… kiss me…”

We kiss. Soft and sensual, the passion building. Lips feather-light. Tongues dancing. It feels to us both that this can never end… should never end… how could it possibly end? I don’t know how long we’ve been lying here, and I don’t care. Just don’t leave. Don’t go. Stay. Stay with me.

Again, you sigh.

“Oh Minx, My darling Minx… do you have any idea what you do to me? How much I love you? How obvious it is that we belong together?”

I do. I really do.

And as I gaze into your eyes, and you gaze soul-searchingly back into mine, it’s the only thing in the whole world that makes any sense at all.

***Updated:
Proudly listed on Blogstormz
Also posted at Tell Your Sex Story — Welcome back Daniel and Sabrina!

You..

Posted in minx with tags on May 1, 2006 by evilminx

(Minxing poetic again. Ted Hughes must be shaking in his boots. Heh.)

I hurt when you do.
Did you know that?
I do.
I really do.

It kills me,
When I can’t be there,
To hold you,
Soothe you

Stroke your face
Ease your mind.
Hold you close.
Hear you breathe.

Just know that though
I can’t be there with you
You’re always
On my mind

And darling?
You have shown me
That true love
Can exist

For this I thank you
From the
Bottom of
My heart

Always yours,
Minxxxxxxxxxx