For Sam…

Sam was a very good friend of mine, many many years ago when I was but a Minxette.

I met him at university, we were both involved in the student theatre stuff.

Sam was brilliant. Brilliant as in a brain I could only envy. So clever. So intelligent. Maybe too intelligent. He could never quite get to grips with the world around him. He could never really understand how things were *supposed* to happen, could never fall into step with the rest of the planet. At least, that was how he felt.

He was bisexual, but couldn’t accept it. The world was very different back then. Being gay or bi was fine within the confines of the right circles at university, but where Sam came from it certainly wasn’t, and this had influenced him to a very large degree. He was still very young, and very immature, and just couldn’t tally this with the view of the world with which he had been brought up.

Sam was incessantly pursued by a persistent and aggressive gay man who was oblivious to the fact that the pressure he heaped upon Sam terrified him. Terrified him far more than it convinced him of his homosexual tendencies.

13 years ago, Sam committed suicide. It was his second attempt.

I loved him. He was a very good friend and one-time lover. I miss him still. This is for him.

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.

I’m thinking of the days,
I won’t forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that lights on you believe me.
And though you’re gone,
You’re with me every single day, believe me.

Days I’ll remember all my life,
Days when you can’t see wrong from right.

You took my life,
But then I knew that very soon you’d leave me,
But it’s all right,
Now I’m not frightened of this world, believe me.

I wish today could be tomorrow,
The night is dark,
It just brings sorrow anyway.

Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I’m thinking of the days,
I won’t forget a single day, believe me.

Days I’ll remember all my life,
Days when you can’t see wrong from right.
You took my life,
But then I knew that very soon you’d leave me,
But it’s all right,
Now I’m not frightened of this world, believe me.

Days.
Thank you for the days,
Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me.
I’m thinking of the days, I won’t forget a single day, believe me.

I bless the light,
I bless the light that shines on you believe me.
And though you’re gone,
You’re with me every single day, believe me.

© The Kinks

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9 Responses to “For Sam…”

  1. I can only imagine how it will be years from now when we look back on our judgement of others’ sexuality and feel embarrassment for the emotional pain we, as a society, caused them.

    I’m sure your friend would appreciate your thoughts!

    You don’t seem like a very “evil” Minx to me. 🙂

  2. Evil Minx Says:

    Ah Junniper… I am never evil to my friends.

    Unless they beg…

    Plus, evil is a state of mind. And in the Minxdom, it’s not always a bad thing.

    But you’re probably right. I’m more Minx than evil most of the time. But i retain my title, because every so often, evility is required. (See Blog Thunderdome, where i’m an official guest judge.)

    Minxxxxx

  3. Oh Minxy,

    This was lovely. I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Love,
    Lingster

  4. Darling

    Hugs…

    Minerva

  5. I’m sorry. I know it can be such a confusing and heart wrenching thing for a young person.

  6. this is beautiful…

    wishing you –

    peace…

  7. Scarlett O'Hara Says:

    Beautiful…thank you…

  8. Scarlett O'Hara Says:

    Beautiful…thank you…

  9. warcrygirl Says:

    I’ve never lost anyone to suicide so I can only imagine your pain and sorrow. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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