Vacation from the holidays

Hello,

Outwardly you see before you your Minx, as you know her. Calm, cool, collected, blonde and sexy. Winking seductively and blowing you kisses.

On the inside — or what you don’t see — is the frustrated and exhausted shell of a woman who has just HAD IT with home lives.

Of any shape or size.

Thank god I’m getting out of here soon.

At this rate, I may just go postal while I’m in the UK and disappear. Leave my former life hanging in the balance. Search for some *inner peace* to soothe my soul.

I see the collective aghast and taken aback expressions on your faces.

“Er…. b-b-but… you… wha… whi… wh….”

By which you mean, clearly: What the fuck?

The emotional rollercoaster that is my life is spinning dangerously out of control. And you wanna know something funny? Writing here is the only release I have.

Seriously.

Woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

If my myriad emotional issues weren’t enough to be going on with – and god knows they are – there’s also the issue of the holidays. This month, here, is national holiday month. Ample time to be stuck at home with both trolls and CH, being driven insane. Parents arrived from o/s two days ago, just to add insult to injury. I love them but whenever they’re here, CH reverts Jekyll and Hyde-like, back to how he was before.

I have days that go by when I wonder to myself “what the fuck are you doing?”. Then other days are just idyllic. And other times I don’t know who I am any more.

I promised myself that I’d really give thyis reconciliation attempt a good go, and while I can’t put a time limit on that, I gave it a minimum of a year. I’ll give it that year. If I last that long. Oy…

I just have to remember that nothing is written in stone. I have committed to trying again, but I can’t commit to succeed. If I’m unhappy then I have to be the one who changes things.

No-one else can or will.

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9 Responses to “Vacation from the holidays”

  1. Absolutely right…
    As long as you feel within you that YOU have given of your most…no one can ask for more…

    Minerva

  2. I agree with Minerva.

    I think people often sacrifice their own happiness to please others. NEVER a good idea. 🙂

  3. Deadly Female Says:

    Plenty of inner peace over here in the UK – just point me in the right direction when you find it.

    Oh, and just take things slow, hun, no need to rush, this has to be right for you too.

    Catch some love and hugs from across the atlantic xx

  4. i second… or i guess third what minerva has said. all you can do is try.

    you have to do whatever is going to make you happy. if you can’t be happy with yourself you can’t be happy with someone else, no matter who it is.

    don’t go postal in the uk, just have a great time, relax and have lots of fun! enjoy yourself!

    thinking happy thoughts for you,

    ~anne

  5. The future is unwritten Minx. You know my thoughts are always with you.

  6. Love and hugs to you Minx. You sound like you need them. Remember, only you can control what happens to you.

  7. The Corporal Says:

    While I agree with the love and hugs that Amal sent – except triple.

    Hell, maybe I’d slip you some tongue…

    I disagree with the fact that only you can control what happens to you.

    The only thing we have control over in our lives, is how well we are able to roll with whatever life throws at us. We can only control our response. We can commit ourselves to something, but, we may not be able to jump out of the way when the train jumps the tracks.

    We can try…

    I realize that nothing is written in stone Minx, but you are right in not committing to the success. Only the two of you can make that happen. All you can do is give what you can, and see what happens.

    You can only do so much, and you have to be met at least halfway. Failing that, the reconciliation will likely not go as hoped.

    If that happens, maybe you’ll be better off. You’ll finally know that it originally ended for the best. And, you’ll finally be able to move on.

    To find someone who could love you, cherish you – and blow your fucking socks off with mind-blowing sex.

    (You have my number!)

  8. Corporal… if Mrs Kickyourass wouldn’t kick mine, I’d SO take you up on that.

    Unless, of course, she fancies joining in…

    Ever pervy, your

    Minxxxxxxxx

  9. *still laughing at Minx’s comments..*

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