Archive for July, 2005

Minxa Culpa

Posted in minx with tags on July 26, 2005 by evilminx

Hey there, minx-people…

Yes… emerging once again from the darkness of obscurity and vacation… here she comes…

The Minx Returns…

I will shortly be posting the post for which you have all been waiting… but only Pink (bless her sexy little cotton submissive socks) had the moxie to ask for..

Note: The word shortly is here defined as: within the next day definitely but hopefully within the next couple of hours….

So this is just a taster to keep you ticking over.

Actually, I shouldn’t mislead you. The next post will probably start a topic that will continue for a while over several posts. So lots of juicy and minxalicious stuff to get your teeth into.

Either way, the wait is over. I’m not back from vacation yet, but I missed y’all so much that I cannot stay away any longer.

And just to prove that there is life worth emerging for, check out the upcoming Blog Thunderdome… guess who’s a guest judge in the Medium Large Phill vs Sick Sad World contest…? What can I tell you, people, the *Thing* of Minx is spreading its wings and its horizons. General muscle extenditure going on here, yes indeedy.

Be good, and contain your collective souls in patience. Not long now…

Minxxxx

The Velvet Vulva

Posted in minx with tags on July 20, 2005 by evilminx

My post today was going to be about the horrors of internet dating, but the friend whose story i was retelling had a change of heart. So I will present some horrors of internet shopping.

That’s a random lesbian pulp fiction graphic, only vaguely connected with fashion, but I know my Minx loves the pulp.

I can’t decide whether these things are really cool, or really gross: Velvet Vulvas. This chick makes these giant velvet vulvas as purses. This could be a cool reference to the fact that apparently the word pussy once meant purse, but I don’t know about that. The maker also says that these things are embued with positive female energy and give it off in a healing way. That beats what most of the artifical vulvas I know of are ’embued with’. Let’s just say it usually has to do beating, and with men who lack the company of women, and is alleged to be 90 calories a tablespoon. So we used to say at my old Catholic HS for girls, anyway, also known as Our Lady of the Demi-Virgin.
She also informs us helpfully and without even a hint of irony that what we choose to put in our Velvet Vulvas has great magical or emotional significance, to which I reply, Only sometimes, honey. She cautions that such objects need to be appropriately sized, and to that I say, Amen, sister.

The purses are really funny–here’s one: And here’s another where the maker assures us that, while the body is vinyl (!) , for better wear (!), the rest is not. Thanks, I think.

Touchingly, one may also get a Velvet Vulva Valentine, or even a Velvet Vulva in a frame. Happy shopping! The Evil Lynxxx blesses you, and asks you to consider carefully which objects you’ll place in your velvet vulva. Remember, objects may be smaller than they appear.

Watch This Space

Posted in minx with tags on July 20, 2005 by evilminx

Yes, it’s Ling! Jumping for Joy at the chance to post for Evil Minxxx today!
In her honour and as an act of homage, my name today shall be Evil Lynxxx.

And there will be evil postage here, never fear, later today. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

A voice from the distance…

Posted in minx with tags on July 17, 2005 by evilminx

Hello minx-people…

Nothing wildly creative today… not enough time or space to concentrate…

Such are the trials and tribulations of a Minx staying at her folks’ place…

Just to say I’m still around, and checking out your blogs, slowly but surely.

And to see if anyone can help me fix this freakin’ template… grrrrrr.

Do let me know – comment if you can.

Love you all madly

Minxxxxxxxx

Why Mr. Bond… thank you…

Posted in minx with tags on July 11, 2005 by evilminx

Just a quickie to thank 007 of Curbed Enthusiasm for the fablious banner.

Yes, Minx-people, the stunning banner you see above you was designed and executed by none other than the wonderful spy who loved LingLing hard.

And isn’t it great? It makes the site even better than it was. Which was pretty damn good if i say so myself…

So altogether now, a great big Minxing:

Thank you, Mr. Bond.

Just call me Minxypenny…

Nostalgia….

Posted in minx with tags on July 10, 2005 by evilminx

Note to my regular readership: If you’re just here for the sex, there’s a juicy tidbit at the end of the post. Although, you’ll be missing out on lots of Minxiness if you skip straight there. I’m just saying is all.

It’s odd that the older I get, the happier I feel. Generally speaking, of course.

Maybe it’s because over the course of my life, the pursuit of happiness has come to mean much more to me. Especially as, during that time, I’ve experienced the requisite pains and miseries of life with which happiness can be compared.

I am fortunate enough to have had a happy childhood. Not that I have nothing to complain about. No, no. My therapist could spin you a tale or two that would stand your hair on end. (Of course, then she’d be struck off and I’d have to exact murderous revenge on her and her family. But hey – life has drawbacks, sister, suck it up.) But I was happy, generally. Warm comfortable home, warm comfortable parents, a sister I with whom I was alternately best friends and spitting enemies but always loved very much.

And happiness continued until puberty hit.

Now I’ve always been blonde, and I’ve always been what a certain person refers to politely as “a big girl”. I’m currently 14 kilo smaller than I was about 4 months ago – which is about the smallest I’ve been in over 8 years – and I continue to reduce as I speak… And busty. Oh yes. A most splendiferous chest area. Yes boys, you may drool…

So, no Skinny Lizzie this Minx. Oh no.

As a teenager, I was not – to quote a male friend from then – “the kind of girl that boys go out with”. And once this fact was made clear to me – in no uncertain terms – puberty started to seriously suck.

Looking back, I seriously wonder why I just accepted this state of affairs. Why is skinny and pretty the only pre-requisite for dating between the ages of 13-16? Why did I have to rely on my wit and comedic talents in order to have any friends at all? And even then, why did I find myself (as a quite-shy-underneath-all-the-hilarity, overweight girl) on the receiving end of mean and obnoxiously immature teasing by 2 nasty, bitchy, sub-intelligent no-chinned wonders called N and M? (Who shall, naturally, be cursed by the ‘Thing’ of Minx and all Minxy members in perpetuity.) And who are, I hasten to add, so much more pathetic and unhappy and less successful than I am today (yes, even with all my woes – nobody knows the troubles I see…) that I’m almost inclined to believe in a higher power.

At 16 I had my first serious boyfriend (D). D was incredibly good-looking, charming, sweet, talented and hot stuff on the dance floor. He had several other girlfriends after me before coming out as a gay man at the age of 19. Incidentally, D is now living in the States with his long term partner. I don’t know if he married but he might have, he did live in San Francisco for a long time.

But I remember parading him in front of my then friends with such pride. This guy was gorgeous! And he wanted – YES, HE VOLUNTARILY WANTED – to be with me. Eat shit, assholes. It was an ego boost that every overweight and not-conventionally-pretty 16 year old girl should have. It did wonders for my self-confidence.

And it got better and better from then on. At 18 I discovered my sexuality. Heterosexual sex, and lots of it, in case you hadn’t noticed. Not that I rule out any other kind of experience…

On my year out between school and university, I had many dates, boyfriends, one-nighters (consenting), and yet the penny still didn’t drop as to why on earth I’d want to remain “in” with the crowd of friends I had back then. None of these partners were from among their ranks. Among them I was still this pariah. Jerks.

It took several boyfriends and 3 hell-raising years at college to realise that these “friends” were people I had to let go. They’d let me go already, I was just hanging on for dear life, out of fear that I’d never find any other friends. How wrong can a person be?

It’s the whole letting go of a situation thing. I’ve never been very good at it. It always seems to be something that I drag out over a period of time, in order to lessen the pain. But hey, whatever works, right?

This is just a bit of background on me, pre-Minx. But since I know the calibre of the people reading – and the voyeurism that they regularly exhibit (god bless ’em, they make my life worthwhile!) – I will throw in the following juicy tidbit before I close.

I lost my virginity at age 21.

My (then) boyfriend (S) and I finally did it in his bedroom, down the hall from his parents. They knew I was staying with him and had no problem with that, but old habits die hard so it still wasn’t a big grunt-and-scream event for either of us. S was a beautiful man, patient and kind and sweet, and he looked like a downscaled version of a Greek god. Finely muscled, broad shoulders*, six-pack stomach, narrow hips and a cock so hard he could have poked a hole in the wall.

Unfortunately, on this occasion, I didn’t take advantage of any of this to its fullest extent, I was more concerned with just doing the deed, and casting my virginity away like yesterday’s pizza. I was 21, for god’s sake! There are only so many times you can laugh along with the jokes in the college bar without blushing and falling uncharacteristically silent. My friends were all very encouraging and had left me with quantities of advice on enjoyment, prolongment and technique – none of which I could remember.

It’s a bizarre memory, notable for the clarity with which I recall it, and the humour that accompanies it. I remember the lead up thinking “oh my god. I can’t believe I’m finally doing this. It. Wow.” Then that split-second of pain, closely followed by S groaning, cumming and collapsing.

And me lying there, thinking: “That was IT?! THAT??!! Fuck, I hope it gets better with practice…”

And of course, as you all well know… it has.

Much.

*Evil grin*

Be well, y’all…

EMxxx

* Note: Well-defined and sexy shoulders can cause the Evil Minx to get off a bus at the wrong stop and follow a complete stranger home. And I use this example on purpose. A pair of gorgeous shoulders can intoxicate me and addle my brain faster than a large gin and tonic…

[Note: Of those 35 or so people in my crowd, I’m still in touch with 2. And both of those people are and were never the kind to “dis” a Minx.]

Horror and heartbreak…

Posted in minx with tags on July 7, 2005 by evilminx

You all know in which country I live.

I am no stranger to the heinous aftermath of the twisted ideology purported by the mad terrorist. It doesn’t enable me to understand it any more than any other normal person, nor does it lessen my sense of shock, horror and amazement at the scale of cruelty that one human being can inflict upon another.

And don’t ever insult me or the victims of these dreadful acts by calling them “militants” or – if you dare, you ignorant asshole – “freedom fighters”. Horseshit. They’re monsters. Pure and simple.

Today, these monsters struck not my current home, but my former home. As the final shouts of joy at the news of the 2012 Olympics died on the lips of the last revellers, horrific bomb blasts occurred all through the centre of the city. My heart bleeds for the relatives of those taken, and all those involved… I wish all those injured in any way a full and speedy recovery.

To all my UK readership, and anyone with ties to the UK and London – I sincerely wish you all well and healthy. May as little of the fallout as possible from this dreadful day land on you and yours.

In deep sorrow and pain..

EM